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i am currently wigging out for the following reasons in descending order
of importance: 1. my dad's in the hospital again. we don't exactly know what's wrong.
another stroke perhaps? i'm currently awaiting a phone call from my mom
letting me know what's up. which means i have to forfeit the $25 gift
certificate for dinner out that i won at work because it expires today
and i have to stay here and wait for the call. who, me? petty? :/
i'm trying not to think about what i learned while being an obit-writer
for years, that more people pass away around the holidays than any other
time. i don't want to have to skip new year's. i don't want to have to
miss work -- i'm too new. i don't want to go back to jumping every time
the phone rings 'cause i'm assuming it's bad news. like i said, petty. 2. joe is just so pissy with me lately. i feel like everything i do is
wrong. nothing is fast enough, good enough or close enough to his
specifications -- which of course he never even bothers to tell me what
they are. and it's not even about the cat. well, enough said there, as i
prolly shouldn't go around spewing all my marital garbage on this
website. it's just making me tense. 3. this sounds so stupid, but i'm really upset with myself that i am not
having the d-i-y christmas i'd envisioned. i designed one christmas
card. it kicks ass. but i can't send it to the catholic relatives 'cause
they'll find it offensive. so i was going to design another one for
them. but i've got so many commitments that i just don't think i'm going
to have the time to do so, especially since each one takes so damn long
to print out. so i went out and bought cards today. bleah. 90 percent of
them i could've made myself, leaving aside the fact that my printer
won't print metallics. and i was going to make gifts too.poof goes that
idea. it's dumb, but i'm feeling really inadequate as an artist/craftsperson/designer/whatever. 4. it's prolly the lack of sleep, but i'm doing really stupid and klutzy
things and have been doing so all week. it's like the old cliche, if my
head weren't screwed on, i'd lose it. among the highlights: toppled an
entire mantel-ful of christmas decorations, breaking 4 ornaments that
had sentimental value. lost our car insurance cards that we're supposed
to have on us when we're driving. went out to dinner with amber and left
the book she lent me in the restaurant and didn't miss it for 3 hours.
made dumb mistake at work that resulted in me printing out 30 pages to
the color laser with the wrong header. color printouts are really
expensive. ack! it's just been a whole week-ful of crap like that. 5. if i *ever* decide to hit the main downtown chicago shopping drag on
a saturday in december, have me committed. you shouldn't have to stand
in a long line to use the *escalator,* for christ's sake! this is the
worst i've ever seen the downtown crowds, ever.
Need advice Diy Christmas Decorations>? |
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I'd say you deserve a few higs and stress-reducing mint chocolate
smaes right about now...
Try to find some time to relax... it *is* okay if you can't do everything. of course we read, silly. vent anytime. and i don't really have anything
substantive to add- i think it's just holiday season stress, probably, as
i'm going through a lot of the same stuff right now for that reason, and
i'm just concentrating on getting through the season and then things will
calm down. it always helps me to think that stress is only going to last
for a limited time.
and tell me about the marshall's fields windows! i've gotta know. :)
thinking healthy throughts for your father, and calming soothing throughs
for you. Maybe. If it weren't for the fact that your dad's behavior has directly
influenced his health, and you've been warning him about his behavior for
years. When he's done so much to himself, I'm not sure it's petty anymore
to resent it. |
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