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I'm assisting my local food bank with its annual Christmas canvassing, and
would just like to remind everyone to give to their local food bank,
Christmas Daddies, Christmas Angels, Christmas Mommies and Daddies, the
Kinsmen Telemiracle, or holiday charity of ones' choice thoughtfully this
holiday season, and don't forget to donate gifts for kids 12 to 18 years. (Especially in light of the after-math of Juan, where so many families lost
so much perishable food.) As a child many years ago I had the misfortune of a Christmas without, and I
can tell you it's a really tough pill to swallow. Dad wasn't working (hadn't worked for a few months) because there was no work (at the time he
was an independent welder, and worked for whichever company needed him), Mom
was a stay at home Mom. (we had groceries because of the generousity of my
Grandmother, I might also add that they still seemed to have money for
alcohol and tobacco, but none to spend on Christmas) that particular year we
travelled to visit family in another city, and it was extremely difficult to
sit there on Christmas morning and watch my cousins open their gifts, and
there were none under the tree for my younger sister or me, it was tougher
to watch my little sister who believed in Santa, cry because Santa had
forgotton her. I had to leave the room, I just couldn't hold the tears
back, and my parents were angry with me (they felt I had caused a scene, and
embarassed them) in their yes I had no right to be upset. When I returned to
school everyone was talking about all of their new things, and how much fun
they had with this new thing or that, and they noticed I was strangely
quiet, and pointedly asked me what I got for Christmas, I said "nothing"
trying not to be embarassed, trying not to cry, trying not to be upset. My
friends didn't believe me at first with remarks like get out of here? no
really what'd you get? "Nothing", I said, "not even a lump of coal". Then
I had to tell them, that it wasn't so much the fact that I didn't get
anything that bothered me, it was that no one in the family, knowing my
father wasn't working had thought to buy my sister a gift, so that she could
still believe in Santa, she was only 5 at the time. After all these years this Christmas memory is still burned in my mind as if
it happened yesterday. (in any case I could go into my parents other
short-comings and psychological torture, but I won't go there at the moment)
I know the holidays are not about getting (or at least they're not supposed
to be) however to have high expectations because of the hype, and what
society as a whole expects at this time of year, there is nothing like a
Christmas with nothing, or next to nothing. I was grateful for a hot turkey
dinner, a roof over my head, and a place to sleep over the holidays, but the
actual celebration was missing the spirit of Christmas. (I tried to explain
this to my parents, but they just couldn't see it as why it would be a big
deal) That year I had actually made gifts for my parents, cousins, friends,
aunts and uncles (Chistmas decorations), and one for my sister (I let her
open it before we left home), I did feel good that I had actually given
something, even if they were just salt dough ornaments...it's the thought
that counts. But when there's nothing under the tree, makes you wonder if
anyone cares. It's something I've never gotten over. Which is probably why
I will go without my Tim's coffee for the next two months, and take a bagged
lunch, and skimp on what I eat at other meal times, to make sure my kids are
fed, and Santa does come again this year. (I'm over-compensating for my
parents mistakes) If I can keep another child from experiencing that Christmas I had 21 years
ago, or one similar to it, talking about my Christmas that wasn't, in a
forum where I'm open to flames, it's worth it. (It's a good thing I'm not
using a pen and paper at this point because I would have dripped all over
the page and the ink would have run) I love watching my children on Christmas morning with their eyes like
saucers, I get very sentimental as they open their gifts, saying "Thank you __________" to whomever's name is on the tag. The excitement and the
wonder on their faces makes it worth any sacrifices I've had to make to make
sure it happens. I also always make sure my son whose birthday is 6 days before Christmas has
a proper Birthday celebration, we have a cake, and a family party with
presents and a special meal chosen by him; (my kids will probably have
enough reasons to dislike me as they get older, I don't need Birthdays to be
a bone of contention) I can remember my mother's stories (she was born Dec 22) of people combining her Birthday and Christmas presents, my friends who
were born on Dec 20th told the same story, and my friends born on Boxing Day
telling a similar story. Birthday presents being given as one and the same
as Christmas presents. I've made a special effort to show my son his
birthday is special because that's the day he came into my life, and it
should be celebrated on its own merit. And I always make sure Mom has her
Birthday gift and card separate from her Christmas stuff, and make a point
to send Birthday Cards to my friends all born around Christmas...none of
this Merry Christmas and PS Happy Birthday. give what you can, a little can mean the world to someone. It's
the thought that counts. |
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You made ME tear up too! I am sorry that you and your sister had to go
through that. I must say I'm one of the fortunate ones that, even when my
parents were scrimping -- my mom ALWAYS ALWAYS made sure she had money for
Christmas for the three kids. One year in particular (I think I was in Grade 5), my brothers and I were
certain -- absolutely certain -- that our parents didn't have money for
Christmas. And Santa brought us an Atari system. Even at that late age (I
was 10 that year), I figured there MUST be a Santa, cause there's NO WAY mom
and dad could pull this off. I have always believed in Santa. My son is 9
this year, and he still does. Even now, when my husband.and I can't afford to spend $10 on each other at
Christmas (like last year!), the boys always have more than enough. MORE
than enough -- so I make certain they help out with the local charities,
bringing the Christmas boxes to the needy, donating toys they no longer play
with, picking out a new toy for someone not as lucky as they are. |
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